American Idol

Over the last few years I have become somewhat disenchanted with American Idol. I use to avidly follow it, being it was my most direct connection to American culture when I had no other. I would wait so impatiently for each season to come around, and clear my entire life for the finales. I felt so connected to something I had left behind, and could be truly happy in those moments. Yet over the years my love waned…and I forgot something important.
As I was sitting on my couch today, I was flipping through the channels and saw that the American Idol finale was on, and figured I would watch a few minutes. I turned it on just as the tribute to Simon Cowell was starting. Giant glowing doors parted and Kelly Clarkson emerged, followed by Rueben Studdard, Jordin Sparks, Carey Underwood, and the subsequent idol winners. Behind them followed runner ups and other favorites. As I watched all those people on stage, roughly 50, I was reminded of something. Before Idol these people were just normal, they were as plain as you and me, but over time they became some of the most known names in music today. Their entire lives changed at the turn of a hat…because of this show. People were given a chance and found their dreams in the sitting in the palm of their hands.
I am not certain there is a greater symbol of the freedom Americans enjoy. We are known as the land of opportunity, now that doesn’t mean that fame and fortune falls into your lap the minute you come here. What it does mean is that you have a chance, you have a chance to be the a girl working on a farm in the middle of nowhere and a year later you could be named female country singer of the year. You could come from poor urban upbringing and 2 years later act alongside Beyonce in an Oscar winning film and then win an academy award for best supporting actress.
That’s what Idol is about, giving people that chance, that chance to truly embrace what it is to be an American. That given the hard work ethic, the talent, and a shimmer of luck, we can be who we wish. We are reminded that we live the land where “dreams really do come true.”
So call me a follower America, and next season I’ll be tuning in..and maybe tearing up.

Dont be the Dick.

Sometimes nice guys really do finish last, and at these moments they fell the urge to retaliate. I've seen this scenario more times than I can count, they mope around a sputter off something about "becoming asshole so a girl may actually talk to me." My roommate feel into this same rut last night. He is the definition of a "nice guy" and like so many others, has had his heart trampled on like the antelope got Mufasa and he turned to me and uttered those fateful words. His plan: I meet this girl, shes nice, but I have no interest in dating her, so I think I'm just going to sleep with her for a little while, and then tell her "its not working." I had the urge to slap him, sit him down on a chair like a child and lecture him for hours, but I understood his dilemma, and approached the whole idea with a sense of empathy. I turned to him and warned him of the phrase "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." Men when a woman screws you over, you call us names and go have a beer with your buddies....woman are what you would call a little more; devious. We too will call you names, tell our girl friends terrible secrets about you and as we storm out of your house tell you your penis is small and loudly proclaim we faked it. Unfortunately for you, it does not end there. That just isnt enough for us. Now some of you will say, "nah she wouldn't do anything like that, shes too nice" which you may be right about. What you dont think about is her girlfriends, if shes not spiteful, she has a devious girlfriend who is. One who will tell her the best way to get this anger off her chest, which is some scenarios involves carving a penis into the side of your shiny new truck or mustang.
So boys, the next time you choose to tell us were "really cool" or you "really like us" and then don't call...you've been warned.

105 and sunny

Hell has nothing on a Florida summer. Between the heat ( it was 105 degrees in my roommates car yesterday) and the humidity, simply breathing is a chore. Despite the fact that I have lived in Tallahassee for almost 2 years, I have never experienced a true Florida summer. I am tan(and sunburned) trying with every ounce of will I have NOT to turn on the AC. All the while trying to elicit a creative ability to stay cool in any way where I don't touch my wallet. It's not an easy feat, I feel like I should be granted an Olympic medal for such skills. Only the love bugs enjoy this weather, a fact made apparent by their ability to so avidly fly straight onto my body only to become stuck and meet an imminent death by drown themselves in tanning oil. Survival of the fittest :)
Despite my disdain for sweltering heat, I know a part of me will miss it. When I'm two shades away from matching computer paper, and my nose is red from blistering NYC winds, I will think back on these days. Despite my short path through Tallahassee, I appreciate what you have done for me. So Tallahassee, stay classy, and one day I'll be back, sitting by the pool, and flicking bugs off my body.

A question in life.

My whole life I have been dedicated to pursuing my career. I said I would leave everything behind, jump over every obstacle, and run towards my dreams..and I did. I left a lot of people and opportunities behind.. a lot of friends, family, and relationships. I never thought about it before, because like I said, it was a price I was willing to pay. I always thought it for my betterment and that I would be happy in the end.
Then the straw came that broke the camels back. And for the first time in my life I questioned what I was doing, and questioned what I gave up and how much more I could. I never thought this day would come, but when I thought about it, I realized that the road to success can be lonely when traveled alone. My worst fear use to be failure..but as my life has gone on I realize there are worse things to be afraid of..like a life of riches with no one to share it with. I don't want fame and success if the price I pay is everyone I love. It's something I have been mulling in my head for a couple days now...and it scares the shit out of me. It scares me that something could actually make me question what I have been so driven for for so long, and that if I keep this drive, if I keep traveling like a horse with blinders on...my life may take a direction I wanted, but at a cost greater than the end prize.
I am not yet willing to give up my dreams, and I am going to pursue this...I just pray I making the right decision.